After three days of allowing life to take me away from the pool, on Sunday I decided to come back with a splash and attended a racing workout intended for swimmers who are going to race.
When I first jumped in the pool, I couldn't stop thinking what the heck I was doing there! I was sharing the lane with swimmers that could make it from one end of the pool to the other in the time it takes me to blink. My mind was playing tricks on me. I couldn't breath, I felt I was in their way, I felt I wasn't moving, I was freaking out! And that was just the warm up!
Then, we were supposed to jump off the blocks, like olympic swimmers. The girl in front of me smelled my fear and suggested I jumped from the edge, which I did... only to have my goggles pulled out of my face by the splash after every jump. Now, to add insult to injury, I was swimming blindly as fast as I could, slapping the lane lines with my hands and feet. "I don't belong here," I thought. "I want to get out."
And so I did. But instead of giving up, I walked to my swim bag, got my tacky-pink (and blood stopping tight) spare goggles and went back in the water. And now, with the chlorine not burning my eyes, and my hands and feet in the water, I was finally able to focus on just swimming.
"Keep pulling," I was thinking. "It's just 25 more yards". So I pushed myself. I was tired, but I kept swimming. First 25, then 50, then 75. I kept pulling long strokes, kicking fast and pushing myself as hard as I could. When I got to the other side, the coach said "1 minute, 2 seconds". That's how fast I swam 75 yards, and I was so proud that my mind finally shut up. I did belong there, with people who are pushing themselves to be better.
When things in life are going bad and we feel we are sinking, that's when we have to push ourselves the hardest. It is so tough because it means that we are about to break the hurdle, it means that we are almost there. Like the last question in a hard test, or the last pounds when we are on a diet. So don't stop pushing, or if you are in the water, just pull harder. You might not break any world records, but you will break the chains that are holding you back!