At the tail of the lion.

A while ago, I was in a job where I had been for years. I loved my job, it was fun and challenging. But after seven years, I had grown and the job hadn't. I knew it; everybody around me knew it. But month after month, inertia kept me there, miserable. It wasn't until things hit rock bottom when I realized it was time to leave. For good. I thought I had learned my lesson, but today at the pool, I realized that every story repeats itself.


For weeks, my husband has asked me why I keep going back to the last lane. I keep telling him, I am not ready to "upgrade for good." Today was no exception. I was in my lane with maybe 10 more people and after 15 minutes, I was completely frustrated. It was chaotic. I tried to pass some swimmers just to realize that the bottleneck was three people ahead of me and the swimmers behind me were as frustrated as I was! Eventually, I asked the coach at what interval was the next lane swimming. I didn't wait for his answer. They could have been going at light speed. I rather try than stay where I was. And it was the best decision I could make!


Reading my older posts, I realize that this frustration has been a recurring theme for a while. It took me three weeks and 15 minutes of frustration to finally acknowledge that I was never going to be ready for the next lane if I stayed in the old one. The only way to find your new road is to start walking... or swimming, so I did. I switched lanes for good and I am not going back. I might be the last swimmer in the new lane, I might not make the times and might need to take a break every now and then. But my decision has been made. Yes, it is scary. Very scary. But so was leaving my job, leaving my old life behind and starting in a new school with people that looked way smarter than I was. Yet, I survived and I succeeded. Why would this time be any different?


An old proverb says "It is better to be the head of a mouse than the tail of a lion," and I cannot disagree more. Being the head of the tiny beast means that it is as far as you are ever going to be. Being in the tail of a bigger monster means you'll have a lot of fun trying to make again to the head! 


(Photo from Steve Kay)

Out of control!

This weekend, I read a quote from Mario Andretti: "If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough," and today in the pool, I couldn't stop thinking about it.


The sunset was at its full when I got to the pool, but the beginners lane was too full, so I put on my super powers (my fins) and jumped in the more advanced lane. It was fast, it was out of control and it was awesome! I didn't make the times and towards the end, I had to take a breather while the other swimmers kept going. But I tried very hard and even though I failed, I succeeded at pushing myself today. 


Most people are afraid of failure, but if we don't fail, it means that we are not challenging ourselves. I was probably not swimming as fast as Mario Andretti drives, but I certainly lost control, and it felt great!

Experiment!

Some prefer doing it with their hands wide open. Others, press their thumbs really tight. Me? I realized today that I'm more of a loose-hands kind of girl.

I was following the instructions of my coach. He said, "experiment! What is comfortable for olympic swimmers might not be comfortable for you." We swam 50 yards with our hand wide open (I felt relaxed, but I wasn't moving). Then, we tightened our thumbs on the side (really painful after 50 yards!). Then, we cupped our hands (a lot of motion, but it was also a lot of arm work). And then, we tried relaxing our hands (pure bliss for me, but not for other swimmers).

I was reminded again that we are not all made equal and therefore, there are no absolute truths that apply to everyone. How many wars have we fought trying to impose our ways to others? How many times have we insisted that things be done our way? How many times have we found ourselves doing things the same old way just to change it one day and realize how much better the new way is?

So, play a little. Dare to experiment! There is more than one way to do things and the real winner is the one who tries them all... and choses the best one for her. I did. Will you?

A good debate abut different hand shapes when swimming

Mermaids and the Titanic

This weekend, after our regular swimming session, my husband and I stayed at the pool to record underwater videos of each other swimming. That way we could see our stroke from different angles and discover ways to become more efficient in the water.

For weeks, we have been watching videos of Michael Phelps and other olympic swimmers. They look like mermaids (or mermen) in the water. They glide so smoothly, so effortlessly... But watching myself under water was closer to watching the Titanic crash. There were limbs all over the place, things didn't move the way they should and my stroke was so slow that the video looked in slow motion! It was heartbreaking and demotivating to the point I couldn't watch anymore.

But today, two days later, I am a lot more positive. I have always complained that I am too slow in the water and at least, now I know why. My new task then would be address the (whole lot of) things that I'm doing wrong. Today, I focused on kicking with my legs closed and without bending my knees.

Watching our mistakes is indeed one of the hardest things we can do, but unless we become aware of them, we have no chance of improving ourselves. Improving my stroke will take a long time, but changing one mistake at the time, I hope someday I can be a mermaid too.

A lane excuse

Today it was sprints: swimming as fast as you can for short distances. Sprints are a lot of fun because you can give 100% if you know you're just going to do it for 30 seconds or so. You get to the end knowing that you gave your all, and then you plenty of time to catch you breath and do it again. Today, however, the coach decided that he was not going to give us time to rest. We kept going 100 yards after 100 yards with maybe 5 seconds rests.

When I'm swimming with fins, it is a lot easier to rest; I kick a little harder once and glide effortlessly. But the guy in front of me didn't have fins and by the last 25 yards, he was slowing down. His slowing down forced me to slow down as well, so every time I felt him in front of me, I had to take a forced "gliding" rest. After a few hundreds, though, it was annoying. His bubbles ahead of my were annoying, his choppiness was annoying... and because we were not resting for more than a second, I couldn't tell him to let me go ahead of him. I was stuck.

Suddenly, I noticed the lane ahead had only two people and a girl there asked me if I wanted to join them. I hesitated, thought about it for another 100 and then I switched lanes happily! Ha! It only took 200 to miss the "forced" resting sessions. After 75 yards of giving 100%, I missed the bubbles, I missed the choppiness, I missed having an excuse to slow down and rest for a bit. But I was so tired... that I took my rest without having an excuse; just because I needed it (sound of ego deflating).

How many time do we blame others around us for not letting us reach our potential? The boyfriend who doesn't like to go hiking, or the mother that doesn't cook healthy food are our excuse for not working out or loosing weight. Having and excuse is easy and changing is hard, so we leave things like they, and feel stuck, blaming others for not changing.

Just change lanes... and leave your lame excuse behind.

True victory is victory over yourself.

Until today, my H2 fins allowed me to speed behind the faster swimmers in the “ego lanes”. My fins have been my crutches, so I decided to have one finless day every week; and today was the first.

Reality check! I was the slowest in the slow lane! A superhero with her powers stolen. But although I was a slow swimmer, I knew my progress was faster. It was a humbling workout that reminded me speed is not a sign of progress because the only one I’m competing against is myself.