Defunk

Yesterday was a bad day. Maybe it was all the recruiters ignoring my job applications; maybe it was the three hours stuck in traffic; or maybe I was just in a funk, but in days like this, I just want to crawl in a cave.

Counting yards, repetitions and seconds, was not in my list of priorities (along with smelling like chlorine and having pool hair), so I was not looking forward swimming. But working out generally helps me relax, so it was worth trying.

I swam in automatic. I had no idea how the set was, how long or how fast. One girl offered me to lead and I simply grunted "No, thanks". I just let my lane mates swim ahead and I followed along. One hour later, the bad mood had stayed at the pool and I was feeling like a normal human being. In fact, my workout was rewarded with a couple mojitos that night!

Sometimes, the only alternative to not doing anything is to allow others to guide us. So next time you're having "a day", lend the driver seat to somebody else in order to stay on the road.

Learning to lose

Today was the Pentathlon meet and no, I didn't participate but I was there supporting my husband, Scott. He flew around the water with flying colors and I was a proud, cheering wife from the deck.

A lot of fellow swimmers asked me why I wasn't participating. I thought it would be obvious: I just stopped swimming with fins and I'm very slow in the water. From swimming a speedy 100 yards at 1:24 with fins a month ago,  to panting the same 100 yards at barely 2 minutes, I already know I'm slow. Realizing that I'm the slowest of the slowest would be devastating to my ego and I rather not see it in paper. Fear, you ask? Absolutely, I say!

But today, there were swimmers of all types, speeds and ages, even an 82 year old woman who finished a butterfly set. She finished it! No matter how long it took, no matter what position she got. She got all the way to the end.

Watching her, I realized that, like in life, swimming is not about the competition, but about the taking the plunge. Being a professional marketer, stop trying to be get first place will a tough habit to break. But I guess it's never too late to start losing.

A break from life

Today, life took over: I had a thousand things to do, I was in pain from working out yesterday, it was cold... and by the time I saw my watch, I was already late for swimming. Going seemed pointless. Yet, I picked up my husband and we jumped in the pool.

And that's when life stopped. Or maybe, that's when it began. There was nothing other than pulling, breathing, kicking, and huffing and puffing underwater. Nothing else for 45 minutes but me.

In the lockers, one of the girls shared that she had lost over 30 pounds dieting and exercising, and she told me her goal was to look like me. I was flattered, yes, but also embarrassed, because she didn't know yesterday I flaked and today I almost didn't make it either. I felt that I almost betrayed the water, the team and myself.

My lessons today:
1. A short swim is better than no swim. When you don't want to do something, do it at least a little.
2. Even if you are not trying, things happen. Whether it's building nice shoulders, achieving better conditioning or just receiving a compliment, they will happen as a reaction to what you do.
3. There is always someone watching and you can be someone's hero without knowing. That's why you should strive to give your best. And even if no one is watching, there could always be a mirror around...

Pushing to Pull

After three days of allowing life to take me away from the pool, on Sunday I decided to come back with a splash and attended a racing workout intended for swimmers who are going to race.

When I first jumped in the pool, I couldn't stop thinking what the heck I was doing there! I was sharing the lane with swimmers that could make it from one end of the pool to the other in the time it takes me to blink. My mind was playing tricks on me. I couldn't breath, I felt I was in their way, I felt I wasn't moving, I was freaking out! And that was just the warm up!

Then, we were supposed to jump off the blocks, like olympic swimmers. The girl in front of me smelled my fear and suggested I jumped from the edge, which I did... only to have my goggles pulled out of my face by the splash after every jump. Now, to add insult to injury, I was swimming blindly as fast as I could, slapping the lane lines with my hands and feet. "I don't belong here," I thought. "I want to get out."

And so I did. But instead of giving up, I walked to my swim bag, got my tacky-pink (and blood stopping tight) spare goggles and went back in the water. And now, with the chlorine not burning my eyes, and my hands and feet in the water, I was finally able to focus on just swimming.

"Keep pulling," I was thinking. "It's just 25 more yards". So I pushed myself. I was tired, but I kept swimming. First 25, then 50, then 75. I kept pulling long strokes, kicking fast and pushing myself as hard as I could. When I got to the other side, the coach said "1 minute, 2 seconds". That's how fast I swam 75 yards, and I was so proud that my mind finally shut up. I did belong there, with people who are pushing themselves to be better.

When things in life are going bad and we feel we are sinking, that's when we have to push ourselves the hardest. It is so tough because it means that we are about to break the hurdle, it means that we are almost there. Like the last question in a hard test, or the last pounds when we are on a diet. So don't stop pushing, or if you are in the water, just pull harder. You might not break any world records, but you will break the chains that are holding you back!

A new R&R

The last two days of swimming were some of the strongest workouts I have ever had in the water.

Two nights ago, I did the whole workout with no fins and no paddles in an 82 degree pool. It was as energy draining as it rewarding. I worked on my kicks and my stroke and finally, I was fast on my own! The coach asked me to go to the faster lane and even there, my lane mates praised how strong my stroke was. I was so proud of myself! But so tired, that I got home and went straight to bed (no blogging).

Yesterday, I stayed in the lane the coach had suggested earlier. I started swimming with no fins, but I was too slow for the other swimmers. I put on my paddles, but I was still too slow. I put on my fins, and even with them, I was struggling not to fall behind such fast swimmers. I gave all I had in me to keep up, and after one hour, I was pooped! No energy for blogging that night either.

This morning, after two days of giving 100%, I slept, and slept, and rested. I ate a chocolate croissant for breakfast, I didn't go to swim and I had a glass of wine with popcorn and croutons for dinner. Feeling guilty only lasted a second. It wasn't the best diet for an athlete, but it was what my body wanted so it was definitely a reward for a job well done.

When we are on a roll, we forget to take the time to thank our bodies and our spirits for doing a hard work. Everybody needs some R&R. Rest and Relaxation might make active souls like me feel guilty, but athletes call it Rest and Recovery for a reason. I call it Rest and Reward!

Ripping the rut from its roots

Today was a tough day; applying for jobs that won't make me happy, recruiters that don't call back, emails that never get returned... the last thing I wanted to do was getting in a bikini and going to swim in the cold. But my husband insisted and I didn't have the energy to fight him back. He said, "leave it all at the pool, give your all and you'll feel better." Yeah, whatever.

But even the ride towards the pool made me feel better; and by the time I made it out of the water, the bad day was behind me. I focused on my kicking and trying to glide. So much focus on improving myself made me realize that, at least in the little things, I am in control.

Most of the times when we are stuck in a rut, the first thing we do is withdraw from the world. But we need to snap out of it, rip the sadness out off its roots and get moving. We can't change a crapy day, but we can definitely change the way we look at it!